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When I was 18 years old I was just starting to really feel my independence and with this came a lot of sin. Even so, I was very much reading about Jesus, thinking about Jesus, wondering about Jesus but amid it all just not serving Jesus. Still, God was always open to working in my life although seriously limited because I only let Him work in a small part of it…
I can remember one night I had a seriously intense dream and since then I have had a few more but none as intense as that first. Some have told the future for me and it did come to pass and others were just dreams people have, not really a big deal. This was the most intense dream I have ever had to date.
In Arizona, my friends and myself would always go out into the desert to smoke pot or to drink alcohol. It’s what we did and we did it more than once! In this dream, I was in the same situation as I often had been in real life, at a big party out in the desert, drinking a beer, drunk and gazing out into the dark desert as I usually would when at these parties. In the dream, as I looked out in the desert I saw the back of Jesus Christ. He was very tall, about 7 or 8 feet tall, and was in the center of a circle of angels it seemed. The angels had no details in their faces, just circles. They were all circled around Jesus. The angels were running and at the ends of the circle they would leap and fly and then land back down and run again only to jump in the air. And they looked to be singing but I was too far to hear. Jesus was in the center with both of His hands raised up in the air and turning in the center. And as he was turning His eyes and my eyes immediately locked on to one another! I was very freaked out about it and I looked at my beer in my hand and it was like it was on fire! In other words it was the last thing I wanted to have in my hands before God, was being drunk. So, I threw my beer to the ground and looked and all the angels separated. There was a very long path out deep into the night’s desert and Jesus was now floating down the path towards me. I found myself groveling towards Him. I could not stand as I was making the way out to Him, it was impossible. I knew exactly how special He is and was so overwhelmed that I could not stand. I groveled trying to make my way to Him and periodically would try to lift my head to look at Him just to sneak a peek because I just had to see Him. Each time He would have the biggest smile on His precious face. I would then look back down trying to walk to Him thinking I am such a piece of garbage before Him. He is so seriously special who am I but a nothing who was doing exactly what He told me not to do. I finally found myself standing right before Him and it took everything I had to raise my head to look at Him. The minute I did He couldn’t whip his hand out to me fast enough and had the biggest smile on His face. He whipped His hand out like someone just saying “Take it! Take my hand!” I lifted my one hand like a dog’s paw and gently set it down into His hand and with an instant fell to the ground. I then found myself hanging on His hand with both of my hands because I fell on my knees and even with this I needed all the support I could find His love was so seriously electrifying. I could not stand and as I was hanging on His hands I was crying and it was like a thousand volts of pure love were pulsing thru my body and within an instant from there I awoke with chills all over me…
The Bible does very much speak about dreams. Was this one such dream? I do not really know but I do know this, it inspired me to always think how very much God was willing to meet me even before I took even the first few steps to Him and I have never forgotten this about Him to this day.
|wash over me lyrics|
|children of the light lyrics|